GG Galore: Missed Connections

+ youth sports news galore

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Before the smartphone with all its mindless social media and other apps, there was Craigslist. I admittedly would scroll through Craigslist for hours, looking for random gems like the couch or roommate I didn’t know I needed. It was a kinda a precursor to Facebook Marketplace but so much more. I was especially addicted to the Missed Connections section. There was something so joyous and whimsical about the slim odds that random people would reconnect by posting online. I saw you and your glorious pink fedora on the 7 train at 8:27 am. To the dude working the deli counter at the downtown Safeway this past Monday, I’d love to continue our debate about sparkling water. How great is the happenstance that these people might be looking at Craigslist at the same time?

Craigslist is still very much a thing, and the Missed Connections section is still going strong. I never thought I’d join the fray but youth sports + multiple kids may just change that.

Here’s my draft ad:

I used to see your face at the gym, our favorite restaurants, nearby movie theaters, and at home. But now we’re like two ships passing in the night. You’re always driving one kid to sporty things, while I drive the other to other sporty things. Maybe we can catch up sometime. Hopefully I remember your face.

OK OK, a little dramatic but you get the point.. For families like ours and I’m sure many of yours (multiple kids, multiple sports), the whole “divide and conquer” thing is real life. This is especially true on weekends when most engaged sports parents actually want to watch the games. Divide and conquer can also mean a single parent of multiple kids trying to get to multiple events or simply trying to keep up with the youth sports demands of one child. For those with weekend jobs, the juggling act is even more unfathomable.

Watching your child perform can be exhilarating but oh so draining. The growth of club sports with their lofty expectations and downward trajectory of rec, means we are hauling our kids to more practices, often at further distances.

Of course making sacrifices when you have kids is part of the deal. But this whole missed connections thing really struck me the other when I was talking to a few other parents on my son’s soccer team about who is staying at the team hotel for a tourney in a couple of weeks that’s about 90 minutes away. I thought we were the only sad sacks who had to divide and conquer. One us embedded at one kid’s tourney, the other embedded at the other kid’s tourney hours away. But it turns out multiple families are in the same dilemma, some of whom have to drag a third or fourth along for the ride.

That means lots of couples not seeing each other for literally an entire weekend. Or single parents not having an ounce of alone time. And if there is a sliver of time, everyone is exhausted from the driving, the hauling chairs, waiting in line for a shitty pretzel and the emotional roller coaster of watching your kid. I love so much about the youth sports experience but at the end of most heavy sports weekends, I just want to curl up in bed and watch bad reality television.

All of this to say there clearly needs to be some intentionality in carving out time…as couples, as singles, as a family, whatever. I posed this as a question on Notes and received a couple of powerful responses. Would love to hear any and all proactive ways you guys are carving out time outside of the youth sports flurry. There are bigger issues in youth sports but this deserves some of our brain space before we head off again in whatever divergent directions youth sports takes us this weekend.

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And now, a trip through recent youth sports news and columns of note:

Fantastic piece by USA Today on a Fordham University study examining the pervasive impact of anti-LGBTQ language in youth sports. While terms like “man up” or “don’t be a sissy” are of course harmful to the LGBTQ community, the study found the decrease in self esteem most prominent in straight white cisgender boys exposed to standard locker room masculinity talk. If you read any story here, make it this one.

Pro tip for the softballers out there: Be very wary of the USSSA Arkansas All State Fastpitch Tournament until the new director has established credibility. The level of scamming in recent years was bonkers.

Will cricket be the next big youth sport? It’s possible after the U.S. upset Pakistan in the Olympics. (Side note: Did you know there are six professional cricket teams in America?)

Good on this youth football team in Jeannette, Pennsylvania for walking off after its players were called a racial slur.

Golf writer Brendan Ryan digs into (ok calls BS on) a report from First Tee called Cultivating the Next Generation of Character: Quantifying the Impact of Extracurriculars, Including Sports, on Youth Development. Ryan does a lot of questioning the costs involved in developing that character.

Love this story about the odds jobs Baton Rouge high schooler Justin Lartigue has taken on so he can afford all the travel ball and private coaching costs that he deems essential as a high-level baseball prospect.