How to Help Our Young Athletes Become Future Leaders

Step 1: Sign your kids up to play sports. Step 2: Guide them through this early intro to leadership training. Yes, we have tips.

Photo by Kiana Bosman on Unsplash

Happy Friday! Trying something new today, and adding my voice, literally. Welcome to my first attempt at Substack’s narration feature in which you can opt to listen to me read the piece below. I’m a huge fan of audio books, especially for long car drives which, as we all know. are commonplace in youth sports. (‘Keeper of the Lost Cities’ is a family favorite in case you’re looking for a rec.) So listen or don’t listen to me. As always, I’m just thankful that you’re here and excited to share an extra dose of positive perspective today.

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Yesterday morning I watched an intriguing conversation delving deeper into the subject of Wednesday’s newsletter about the special gateway to college for recruited athletes. Put on by the Aspen Institute Sports and Society Program, the conversation titled “Future of College Sports: Special Admissions” offered layers of compelling analysis by several experts. Dr. Kirsten Hextrum, Oregon State University assistant professor, shared a case study about a youth athlete who burned out after a childhood playing all the sports at all levels because the parents, who are doctors, could afford it. Dr. Tyler Ransom, co-author of ‘Legacy and Athlete Preferences at Harvard’ pointed out the extreme lack of access in the pipeline for many of the sports that feed into elite universities. The panelists bandied about possible fixes including the idea of a standardized athletic test for certain sports. Who doesn’t want to take another SAT?

But the part of the conversation that lingered for me came from Ramogi Huma, National College Players Association executive director and a former football player at UCLA. Huma admits he got in because of football ability, even though his academics were subpar. He carried a 3.8 GPA in high school which is excellent for most schools but below average for UCLA. Huma explained and somewhat rationalized the idea of certain athletes fast tracking into colleges. Through Huma’s access to a great higher institution like UCLA, he was exposed to a world class education and utilized the school’s vast resources to hone his ability as a leader. The thing is, unlike a lot of 18 year olds, he was ready. Despite having a “below average” GPA, Huma entered UCLA with a significantly higher than average leadership quotient. That’s because he grew up playing sports.

Amid the frustration many of us share about youth sports including the exorbitant costs, time commitment, and pressure to specialize, it’s easy to forget about the true value in sports participation.

Of course there’s the health and sociability and extracting our kids from screens. It’s easy for my kids to beg me for “3 more minutes” or falsely claim “it’s almost done, I just have to do one more thing” but they’re smart enough not to work such rubbish angles to their coaches and teammates.

But Huma’s right, playing sports truly sets kids up to be leaders, not to mention good collaborators and even employees. This isn’t exactly a secret - a 2015 survey from Ernst and Young found that 94% of women holding C-Suite positions were former athletes. Some of the tenets of leadership may come from osmosis in the youth sports environment but I also believe we as parents play a significant role in nurturing these traits. It just takes a little less focus on winning and a lot more big picture. Some examples include:

Work ethic

Applaud your kid for the effort, not the result. That applies to games and practice. Acknowledge their work rate and talk to them about how it feels to give so much of themselves. Hopefully the answer will be positive.

Navigating difficult people

Talk to your kid about the coach or parent who yells too much in a constructive way. Drive at empathy by discussing why certain people in youth sports may act a certain way.

Learning to deal with failure

Don’t troubleshoot the why of your kid’s loss or why they didn’t make a certain team.. Acknowledge that it’s ok to cry and be disappointed but prepare strategies to move on. It’s almost important to teach your kids about subjectivity in youth sports and life but in a way that doesn’t have them assuming they’re getting screwed with every unfavorable decision.

Reveling in success but keeping perspective

Your kid made the game-winning shot in an AAU game. Of course they should celebrate and you should, too. But at some point remind them that there have been and will be bumps in the road. Also, there’s nothing good that comes from railing on other kids. That kid who couldn’t defend your kid to save his life might surpass your kid with hard work…or yeah, puberty. Nothing in sports is pre-determined.

Being a good listener

This is simply being a good teammate. Model that behavior by giving your kid a comfortable space to talk about anything. Encourage them to give their teammates that same “open-door.”

Learning how to motivate teammates

Assuming your own kid is motivated, encourage them to invite teammates to join in an extra training or even just to hang out. Be a positive influence. If you’re facing, say, the top team in the state, don’t be the kid who says, “we’re gonna get crushed” on a loop.” Remind your teammates that anything can happen in sports and set more achievable smaller goals for your team.

Honoring commitment

Teach your child the importance of commitment, to their teammates, to the coach, to you for bankrolling. It’s great if their goal is to make some hard core top team but if they can only make half the practices, don’t join. Credit your child with meeting commitments. Remind them how their presence is helpful to everyone - and not just because of their athletic ability.

Time management

School. Sports. Friends. Other extra-ciriculars. It’s a lot to manage. Discuss organization tools that help. Timers and calendar reminders are our friends.

Not being a jerk

Duh.. But seriously, the professionalization of youth sports have turned so many suckers into crazytown. Make sure to keep your child above the fray.

Of course every human is built different and playing sports doesn’t guarantee your kid anything. Yet it’s still a comfort to know that the tools for real leadership are all around the youth sports landscape. Please help your kids utilize them.