My Kid, the Athlete and What Else ?

A warning.

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A few years ago the NLFPA (the NFL’s player union) started a campaign spotlighting its players beyond their helmets. #AthleteAnd, which I believe started as a social campaign, has into a full-fledged digital platform complete with all the modern trimming including a requisite podcast. Players discuss their passions beyond the field in everything from financial literacy to fashion to music and beyond. Many spotlight their non-profits. #AthleteAnd does an excellent job modeling that football is what these men do, not who they are.

It’s an inspiring message to young athletes, and pretty simple on the surface. And many, dare I say, most, parents make a concerted effort to produce well-rounded kids. It helps when the kid is brimming with intellectual curiosity.

Yet, I’ve been thinking a lot about how many kids I’ve encountered who, even at a very young age, are defined by the sport they play. It’s one of numerous byproducts of modern youth sports with its increasing demands. For some many, it’s that feeling that your kid is going to “fall behind” if they aren’t practicing every day. One coach I know told a kid on my younger son’s team who already goes to three professional trainings a week that he would never be as good as certain kids because they train five-times-a-week. Those are 9-year-olds. The terrifying realization that 11.4% of parents believe their kid has the ability to play professional sports only feeds the beast. It’s pretty hard to think about honing other interests, not to mention burnout and injury, when you’re gunning for your kid to get scouted as a 6-year-old.

Youth sports is not alone. Kids are defined by all kinds of things. Avid reader. Great singer. A chess whiz. Silly. Sensitive. Cool. Skater kid. The list goes on and on. This is all a normal part of adolescence.

What sets youth sports apart, in my opinion, is the involvement of parents in marketing their athletes. There’s the daily reinforcement of dedication conversation often rooted in Keeping Up with the Joneses. Oh wow, what a crazy weekend of basketball for you guys. Wait until you hear about all the games my daughter is playing!

Then there’s the overt self-promotion at insanely young ages. The parent-managed social media accounts showcasing the kid’s greatest highlights often come with defining handles like TaylorLuvsVBall or even more generic handles that hint at greatness like Can’tMiss_MikeyB. The parent’s social media accounts typically do the same, showing highlight after highlight. Some parents are just proud; others are bragging. But all told, the social media megaphone only reinforces the labeling.

It’s easy to quickly be known as Luke, the athlete or Katie, the tennis player or whatnot. There is inherently zero wrong with this … if the kid truly has the passion. There are many kids out there who would kick a soccer ball 24/7 if given the choice. But sometimes the branding outweighs the passion and the kids reverts to playing a role.

The demands of youth sports mean the sport can easily become the parent’s identity, too. Yes, I get the irony of saying that as a youth sports parent writing about youth sports. I still cringe thinking about the parent I ran into the other day who addressed me as “baseball mom.”

Quite frankly, I think there are more positives than negatives with this. Sports can foster community and bond families. It’s hard to make new friends as an adult so if your kid’s sport breed new connections, great. I’m not alone in saying my kid’s sporty friends’ parents have become some of my best friends, all rooted in the origins of throwing or kicking a ball.

But it’s easy to lose yourself in it all. I’m saying that as an adult who has a career and a million other interests. I love sports, writing about them professionally and watching my kids play them, but I’m equipped to pivot.

The fear is the increasing number of kids who are not. I’ve seen it so much already. The kid who was deemed a golf phenom at age 7 and did little else as a child, then burned out when they got to college. The kids who mentally outgrew their sports or never grew enough to play their sport at an elite level. The kid who suddenly decided they hated one sport and loved another. The kid who piqued too early. Or sadly, the kid who wanted to try baseball but felt like it was too late because they were years behind their friends who had long been branded as baseball studs.

The AthletesAnd campaign showcases the skills and interests of athletes who are paid to play sports. For the millions of families who are paying for their kid to play sports, ensuring that sports is what they do and not who they are is crucial. It’s not always easy, but the vortex is there to suck you in if you’re not on guard.

Please share any ways you’ve been proactive in ensuring your kid isn’t defined by their sport. A lot of us could use the tips. 🙌