The Perils of Club-Hopping in Youth Sports
Why jumping ship isn't always the answer even when it seems obvious.
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If I heard the term club-hopping 10 or 15 years ago, I would have been pumped. My prep would have included eating carbs for alcohol absorption, selecting cute boots comfortable enough not to annihilate my feet, and maybe practicing a couple of high-degree-of-difficulty dance moves in the mirror.
Now as a youth sports parent, the term has a wildly different and often negative connotation. I’ve weirdly been thinking a lot about club-hopping in conjunction with the latest iteration of NFL free agency. Pro and youth athlete are apples and oranges but there is still something rattling about the notion of being a sports nomad, no matter your age and level.
The NFL’s version of team-hopping is pretty clear cut. Decisions are typically motivated by business. Team-hopping is rarely the player’s choice; it’s simply part of the landscape for players with any semblance of baggage (ex. injury, bloated contracts, off-field issues, aging).
In youth sports, clubs don’t release you for reasons that should be quite obvious at this point. Yet the club-hopping is just as frequent. I can’t tell you how many young athletes I’ve encountered in this sports parenting journey that have played with 3-4 different organizations in the same sport before they even hit double-digits. Heck, some players play on 3-4 teams simultaneously. In many ways, it’s easy to chalk it up to modern society where millennial and Gen Alpha are always looking for the next best thing. But what is the motivating factor for parents?
There are legitimate reasons to club-hop and many more reasons not to.
Some kids outgrow their current clubs and need the challenge of playing at a higher level. A different club might have a coach your child really wants to play for. Maybe they have more friends elsewhere (bonus carpool situation for the parent). Maybe the club is closer. Or cheaper. And yes, many existing clubs have toxic coaching, favoritism, and can be more mentally taxing and physically demanding than your kid is ready for. Or maybe it’s as simple as your kid really liking the color of another club’s uniform.
Then there are the endless number of young athletes who jump ship when they don’t need to. The club-hopping might seem exciting and advantageous but can come with extreme consequences.
Most travel and club communities are small enough to spot a hopper. It doesn’t help when a young kid is wearing knee pads from one team, a tee shirt from another and carrying a backpack from a third. It’s pretty easy to develop a bad reputation as a family who is constantly unsatisfied and looking for the next great thing. Playing high level youth sports comes with enough challenges. Is it really necessary to put your kid in a position where they are constantly having to shake a stigma of being non-committal?
The stigma worsens when you find out the kid left x club because they didn’t play the position the parent wanted for them or y club because they weren’t a starter. There’s always a club where your kid can play the position you deem as their destiny but it may be several rungs lower than your current situation.
So what happens when a kid jumps ship because they the parent thought they were too good for their current team and then can’t meet the high level of the new team. Or they’re not dominating on the new lower level club they were joined to ensure more playing time? Talk about a recipe to kill confidence.
Say the young athlete squeaked in on the new high-level team, either by merit or because you write a check. Either way, there is a risk of injury and burnout as they try and prove themselves. It might be extra training or just going super hard at practice as they try and establish themselves in unknown territory.
Change is hard, especially when you are the only newbie around. The pressure to fit in and adapt to the new environment can cause stress and anxiety. Pushing your kid out of their comfort zone can be a positive but if they are truly not ready for it or have entered this new territory against their will, the mental health implications can be disastrous.
Finally, consider the missed opportunities associated with too much hand-holding. Don’t club-hop because your kid didn’t make a certain team within a club. Think of the message that sends to them. At some point you have to trust in the process that your kid has been placed in the right spot. If they feel shafted, use it as motivation to grind. Now, if they are shining and not getting other opportunities that’s another issue, but what a missed opportunity to teach your kid some perseverance.
All that being said, would love to hear your experiences with club-hopping, both good and perilous.
I see parents removing their children from my gym club despite their enjoyment because other parents say, 'Oh, you must try this out.' Competitive parenting is alive and kicking. There is a rush to put children into clubs too young (before they can tie their own shoelaces or even toilet themselves) because parents don't want to 'miss out.'
My son has played for 3 football (soccer) clubs: the first was great for an introduction and the coach was ideal. Covid curtailed that.
The second was mixed: local with friends, but he had three different coaches, with three different philosophies in three years. The last year, my son was the captain and stand out player. We discussed his next step. He wanted to play at a higher level, with better players.
His third, and current, club has three coaches, all of whom have a decent playing experience and have run the team for a while. The league is competitive and there is competition for playing time. It is the right time and place for my son now (15 years old).
So, we have 'hopped' clubs, but with a rationale.
Interesting. I’m curious if this has gotten noticeably worse over the past 3-5 years. Also makes me wonder if club hopping becomes more prevalent as the college transfer portal becomes more normalized than it already is.