To All the Great Dad Coaches Out There...
Thank you, and Happy Father's Day.
Father’s Day isn’t until Sunday, which in youth sports time feels like decades away. Think of all the practices and carpools and missed meals together and sanity checks those of us with kids playing sports this summer have between now and then.
So today, I’m stealing a page from one my favorite Substacks,
, by doting on the dads a little early. A) Most of them deserve it. B) As Joe said, the Father’s Day gifts aren’t buying themselves so – hint, hint – you still have a few days.
I used to hate Father’s Day. I grew up with a single mom, and every year was just another reminder of how shitty it was to have a fully absent dad. I used to try and ignore the day. Or I’d drink my way through it watching movies, strategically avoiding plots with utopian father figures – or worse, films like The Wrestler with shitty dads who become less shitty because, ultimately, they gave a shit.
Fast forward to adulthood. Marry my soulmate who happens to be a former athlete. Have two kids. Kids become obsessed with playing sports and watching them which is rather convenient given our interests and my profession. Fast forward some more and my husband has coached too many baseball seasons to count, a few basketball seasons, and even a soccer season.
My husband made me fall in love with Father’s Day because I love watching him be a dad. I admire his patience, silliness, loving nature, how he models hard work, and can still help our older son with his math homework (me on the other hand….). I could keep going, but today I want to hone in on the special role he and all the other quality dad coaches share. Of course, there are mom coaches too (👋) and not all parent coaches are rainbows and sunshine but…it’s Father’s Day eve eve eve eve so today we give some love to the dad coaches.
The term “dad coach” can get a bad rap. Favoritism. Reliving your own youth. Yes, those are real issues but more often than not, when a dad coach is in it for the right reasons - to model leadership, serve his community, and development a deeper bond with his kid and their teammates - well, that is absolute magic.
My husband is that magic. A few months before every baseball season he gets an extra spring in his step. He knows he’s coaching, and he can’t wait. Neither can our kids. Everything from naming the team to drafting to dissecting the schedule, he eats up. When dad coaching is done right, it’s a catalyst for a deeper bond and memories and lessons that will last a lifetime for both father and child.
As anyone who’s taught or even chaperoned a field trip knows, dealing with a decent-sized group of kids can be challenging. This is especially true on a sports team when the levels of commitment and ability can vary greatly. Yet somehow my husband handles it all with ease. He’s just as excited to help the newbies learn basic skills as he is helping the top tier players hone their craft. He’s thoughtful with his practice plans (breaking up in small groups for the win), and he knows when to change things up if kids are extra tired that day. He knows how to motivate. Seriously, knowing your coach will do 20 pushups or dance like a chicken if your group catches 10 popups in a row is supreme incentivizing. Our kids have been inspired by his level of dedication. And it’s rubbed off and made them more dedicated as well. While sports are just sports, coaching your kid can be a powerful outlet for comfort, love and just generally hanging out with a shared purpose.
It doesn’t always go well, of course. There are tough losses and kids who misbehave (our children periodically among them), but none of it changes my husband’s perspective and the deeper bond he has formed with our kids through coaching. His dedication to being a dad coach is unwavering and never forced. It doesn’t matter if he’s sick, busy, or sore from overdoing it in the dad’s softball game, if our kids want to practice or strategize about any of their teams, he will happily make himself available. And there’s no one else they’d rather have. It’s been a beautiful thing to witness, and I know so many of you can can relate.
To my husband and all the other incredible dad coaches out there, in the words of my kids and yours, you are the best coach (and dad) ever.
To close out the Father’s Day edition of this newsletter, how about a few dad sports jokes? Please try and contain your laughter.
Why did the football coach go to the bank?
To get his quarter back
How many golfers does it take to change a lightbulb?
FORE!
What kind of stories do basketball players tell?
Tall tales
Where do religious children practice sports?
On the prayground
Why are most baseball games at night?
Because the bats are asleep during the day
If you enjoyed this post, please tell a friend. Good Game is a reader-supported publication and your endorsement is tantamount to our growth. Happy Father’s Day!
As always Melissa - you distill this so beautifully!
Such a positive view on a vocation that we sometimes take for granted. Thanks for writing such a touching piece!