It's hard though, because parents make it hard. Where I live, the parents take a hands-off approach, even in high school. Maybe that's part of the culture, but I think Eric Wynalda is right; we need to let kids be kids and let the experts drive the experience--not the other way around.
The term 'maestros' is spot on. It makes me think of another article I read that parenting has shifted over the years from allowing kids to learn/grow with some curbs and guidelines to parents treating each child like an 18 year science project and wanting to engineer every aspect of their life.
My approach to youth sports was to always make it crystal clear it was their activity. I'd be there to support in a way they liked. I remember my son walking off the soccer field talking to the other wing and asking which side he preferred and the kid said 'the side without the parents.'
Our rules were easy. We were only positive from the stands to the players, refs or coaches. I never talked about the game or practice on the ride home unless he brought it up and only what he wanted to talk about. I asked him every year if he still wanted to play and made it clear it was his decision...I never wanted him to feel obligated to play because he thought we wanted him to. Kids are perceptive, they see when parents wrap a lot of their family life/activity/resources into their sport and worry about letting them down if they decide to do something else.
It's hard though, because parents make it hard. Where I live, the parents take a hands-off approach, even in high school. Maybe that's part of the culture, but I think Eric Wynalda is right; we need to let kids be kids and let the experts drive the experience--not the other way around.
Where do you live, Brian? I must know of this magical land where parents are hands off!
Where the cash leagues flow.
The term 'maestros' is spot on. It makes me think of another article I read that parenting has shifted over the years from allowing kids to learn/grow with some curbs and guidelines to parents treating each child like an 18 year science project and wanting to engineer every aspect of their life.
My approach to youth sports was to always make it crystal clear it was their activity. I'd be there to support in a way they liked. I remember my son walking off the soccer field talking to the other wing and asking which side he preferred and the kid said 'the side without the parents.'
Our rules were easy. We were only positive from the stands to the players, refs or coaches. I never talked about the game or practice on the ride home unless he brought it up and only what he wanted to talk about. I asked him every year if he still wanted to play and made it clear it was his decision...I never wanted him to feel obligated to play because he thought we wanted him to. Kids are perceptive, they see when parents wrap a lot of their family life/activity/resources into their sport and worry about letting them down if they decide to do something else.
Love this so much. You definitely did it right. And yeah, the hovering parental problem and keeping up with the joneses is only getting worse.